so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
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