you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
