singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
