we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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