did you get engaged???
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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