you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
