i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
