He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
