She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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