How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize