Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
im drinking this country out of the recession.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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