Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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