Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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