toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
