Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
