is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
