dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I want to have your abortion
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
