You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
