dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
