Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
