oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
