i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
