Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
