a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
