Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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