Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
