Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
