I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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