I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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