He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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