saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
