my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
