you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I need moral support for this bender
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
