i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Quick, to the slutcave!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Houston, we have a blender
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize