can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm getting married
To pizza
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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