Fine. I'll sleep in my office
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
