i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
