What did we do last night that was yellow?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
