I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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