The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize