Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
