i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
