Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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