Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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