Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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