My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
