Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
