im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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