Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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