wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
