I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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