Me. At least after what I've been through.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
