she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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