are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
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