Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
