his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
