bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
