So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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