Just cropdusted the office
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
