So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
