Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
