I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
