you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
